What do I think about New Year’s Resolutions?
Truth be told, I don’t feel that the idea behind them is fundamentally right or wrong. I’m a big believer in personal growth, self-improvement, mindful awareness, and meaningful purpose - all concepts that are incredibly important steps on the path to happiness, wellbeing, and peeling back the layers so you can truly thrive and fulfill your potential. When you feel like constant garbage, unmotivated and dissatisfied, or when you’re overcome by serious issues like depression, debt, or disease, it’s a big challenge to live your “best life” so-to-speak.
Where I do see the potential problems with “New Year’s Resolutions” is the way in which they are often presented in mainstream society: concepts like “new year, new you” and all the marketing mayhem, buzzword bullshit, and synergistic hype that makes a lot of people a lot of money by tapping into our innate feelings of inferiority at this time of year.
Some important reminders:
You are enough
You are not “too much”
There is nothing fundamentally “wrong” with you that needs fixing
Some important questions to ask yourself in a quiet moment of reflection without the cacophony of mass media yelling at your face:
Are you loved?
Do you love others?
Do you feel a sense of purpose?
Are you proud of your accomplishments?
What would you like to work on?
…the last one is still an incredibly worthwhile question, and something that is beneficial to constantly re-assess at many points in our lives, whether that’s the start of a new day, new week, new month, new year, or even new decade. But perhaps common goals “lose 10 pounds by February 1st” or “get a job promotion by the end of the year” are missing the mark. Not that I’m judging goals of body composition balance or upward mobility in your workplace and career. If these are things that are important to you for valid reasons I applaud and encourage your path to achieving those goals, but always ask yourself “why,” and please, PLEASE don’t think that your sense of happiness rides on achieving those very specific goals within a very specific timeline, and if they are not actualized then you’re a “failure” in any way. All paths in our lives are complicated, complex, and often anything but linear, whether that’s wellness, career, finances, self-love and satisfaction, relationship health, etc.
True, creating and achieving goals, finding purpose, and solving meaningful problems are all linked to a sense of satisfaction, and perhaps overall happiness, but checking off something on a materialistic to-do list or otherwise arbitrary “accomplishment” won’t make you happy if you’re not happy to begin with. In fact, a really important question to ask yourself when setting goals or “resolutions” is “THEN WHAT?”
If your goal was to lose 10 pounds, and you achieve that goal, will your new goal to be lose 20 pounds? To keep the 10 pounds off? What measures did you take to achieve the goal in the first place? Are you willing to continue that for the foreseeable future? What if your methods don’t work the same way again? What if they begin to backfire and you start gaining more weight than you originally lost? What measures are you willing to take to keep on going to achieve that goal no matter the cost? What sacrifices are you willing to make? Will those sacrifices affect other aspects of your happiness and wellbeing? And most importantly, if you achieve that goal and are still not happy, why not? What is really going on a deeper more profound level?
Of course this sequence of questioning can be applied to many different goals, so just sub out words and concepts as needed when reflecting on your personal “resolution.”
And then of course as mentioned above, the WHY is just as important as the HOW. Getting out of debt is a great “why” for wanting that promotion. Overall health and wellbeing is a great “why” for body composition balance. Being overweight (and of course underweight), can be serious health concerns and lead to chronic medical conditions. Having more stable mood, energy levels, and libido, greater stamina in your day-to-day, less inflammation, reduction of disease risk (or management of current disease considerations)…these reasons are all important, and in some cases desperately necessary.
But then I ask, why January 1st? Why not today (whatever day it is that you’re reading this)?
Now, you may benefit from the cyclical structure and socially assigned start date of a new year new beginning - amazing! You may thrive in the synergistic support and communal camaraderie that is perpetuated at this time of year – wonderful! There is nothing wrong with making January your time to really get the ball rolling on a goal. But there is also nothing wrong with initiating that resolution in February, or March, or April, and if you “mess up” one day, or a full week, or even month, it doesn’t mean all has been for nothing and the rest of the year is a write-off. If you forgot to brush your teeth one night, you wouldn’t say “ah screw it” and not brush your teeth for the rest of the week. You would just brush your teeth the next morning like you normally do, and maybe would give your teeth a bit more of a thorough scrub or an extra floss to make up for the added tartar buildup from your wild night of lackadaisical dental care.
Ok, let’s apply all that we’ve learned so far to a really common goal: eating less sugar
Why: High consumption of refined sugar has been linked to increased inflammation which can cause pain and injury, as well as lead to chronic illnesses such as heart disease, cancer, and Alzheimer’s. High consumption of carbohydrates puts a big strain on our pancreas, insulin production, and cortisol secretion which can lead to blood sugar issues, stress, and hormone imbalances. Many foods containing refined sugars are overly processed which can have a negative impact on the environment. etc. etc.
How: Throw away/give away/ donate all foods and ingredients in your house containing refined sugar. This includes any sauces, salad dressings, bars, candies, etc. Research recipes that avoid sugar and foods containing high quantities of refined carbohydrates. Prep and plan so you have nourishing snacks and meals on hand to help you in achieving these goals. Hire a health care practitioner or coach, join a group, follow social media accounts, that support, inspire, and encourage you in avoiding refined sugar. etc. etc.
…and if you “slip”?: Don’t beat yourself up! Every meal, every moment, every day is an opportunity to start fresh. Nourish your body with even more goodness the next time you eat, like low carb veggies, quality protein, healthy fats…and flush your body with lots of H2O, to help your system recalibrate. Your body is resilient and wants to thrive! Just give it the tools it needs to do so and it will show you love and appreciation.
OK, so are we starting to get a bit more clarity on the art of goal setting, and resolution making?
Once again, it’s not that New Year’s Resolutions are bad. What’s bad is the way they’re marketed, how they might make you feel, and how many common resolutions simply set you up for feelings of failure and disappointment. I repeat: personal growth, self-improvement, mindful awareness, and meaningful purpose are all incredibly important steps on the path to happiness and wellbeing. That’s why I personally make intentions (i.e. “resolutions”) every single morning for the day ahead. The intention may be to be kinder, more compassionate, or open-minded, or sometimes I’ll just pick a word to focus on such as “clarity,” “serenity,” “strength” and see how I can apply that word or those concepts to the various interactions and exchanges I have with others and myself throughout the day. Sometimes I’ll even find myself really vibing with a word and carry it through for the week or even month, or until I feel inspired to focus on a new word or concept. Sometimes I’ll write it down, sometimes I’ll integrate it into a mantra that I’ll repeat as a run, practice yoga, or meditate. There are endless things to work on for the betterment of ourselves and the world around us, and endless ways to integrate those things into our day-to-day.
So today, as we begin a new calendar year, I invite a reframe based on some thoughts and reflections I conjured up at this very time last January…
What if…
What if instead of resolutions that suggest a feeling of past failures and regrets, we visualize personal growth based on thoughtful reflection and kind contemplation.
What if instead of specific material goals that may leave us feeling disappointed if they’re not achieved, we cultivate mindful intentions based on fluid concepts of continued self improvement.
What if we did this all year round allowing for the ebbs and flows of life that prove time and time again how few things are predictable, linear, or constant.
What if we began each day with a sense of gratitude, appreciation, awe, and wonder.
What if we were compassionate to ourselves and to others, always opening our minds, bodies, and souls to the many wonderful ways we learn, grow, shift, change, and develop in our relationships with everyone and everything around us.
What if today WAS a new beginning - but a new beginning that isn’t at the whim of dates and deadlines, a new beginning that respects the past, a new beginning that births many new beginnings with endless possibilities.